Our Journey

Below is something very close to our hearts...

I have drafted this for the longest time and finally sent it to Pastors a couple of weeks ago. They asked if I am open to share in church! My heart skipped a bit! Haha...Thought if they believe it is relevant and it will be glorifying His Name, I will pray for the courage and strength to do so!

Ps J included my sharing in her last point of sermon. Sharing in 3 services is really not easy, and every service is different! But praise God for seeing us through. God is good. Pray that you will be encouraged.

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Today, I am here to share a personal journey of ours with you. Hubby & I have been married for 5 years. We have been planning for a child and have been waiting for God to bless us for the past 3 years. In faith, we even prepared a testimony to share when our child arrives.

But God whispered in my heart to share our journey NOW, instead of waiting until the child arrives.

I thought this is rather weird because who would share their inability to conceive. Usually people share their testimony when they conceive successfully. In my deliberation with God, He spoke through

Ps 115: 1 Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to Your Name be the glory, because of Your enduring love and faithfulness.

Therefore even though this is a very personal journey, we would like to glorify His Name. We acknowledge His enduring love and faithfulness to us all these years.

3 years is quite a long wait. Throughout these 3 years we have hung on to His promises:

Ps 37: 3 – 4 Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Ps 113: 9 He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the Lord.

What beautiful promises!

In the midst of hanging on to these promises, there were many times that we were confronted with some uncomfortable truths … I find it very difficult to comprehend them.

For Eg,

- 1 in 6 couples in Australia experience some sort of difficulties conceiving. – (Access.org.au)

- 70,000 – 80,000 babies were aborted in 2005. – (Access.org.au)

- The specialist we saw told us humans are the most infertile creature on earth! How bizarre! :)

We visited an orphanage in China earlier this year & learnt that about 60 children were abandoned in that city every 2 months. Some were left to die intentionally.

These facts left me very puzzled. On one hand, God has commanded us to be fruitful & multiply.

But on the other hand, we have difficulties conceiving & children have been dumped like unwanted commodities. But God has challenged us to Trust in Him & continue to do good.

During this journey, we have felt disappointed many times when we found out that we were not conceiving. I have cried many nights but God whispered in my heart that He truly understands how we feel. He also impressed upon my heart that it is OK to feel this way. I know of many times that He cried with us, just right beside us.

I hear all sorts of stories - such as a couple who had to go through 5 IVF’s treatment, financially expensive, physically invasive & emotionally draining ... yet unsuccessful....

or a couple who waited for 10 years to have their first child..

or a pregnant mum who was bedridden in the hospital throughout the whole pregnancy due to complications etc,

I asked God why do I have to hear all these stories…

God whispered in my heart that it is not about me or us ...

There are ppl out there who experience even greater disappointment & difficulties. He challenged me to be even more thankful for our situation as He has already been very good to us.

Ps116:7 Be at rest once more, oh my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.

Every time I waiver between trust & doubt, God would show up…

He has never failed to assure us that He is with us. We have now learnt a great deal about His Timing.

We can plan all we want, but it is God who directs our paths. We truly understand what it means to wait on God's timing. It's not just a cliche, but this means a lot to our hearts.

The most beautiful thing we can experience, is mysterious. – Steve Uzzell @ Create One Simulcast

Hubby & I will never be able to comprehend the mystery of God’s will and timing in this area of our lives, but we know, He is sovereign still. He is in control still, He is still good.

I wouldn’t trade a child for these 3 years worth of God moments as I have a much greater revelation & appreciation of His love & grace for me, for my family.

He is good. His love and faithfulness endures forever, through all circumstances in our lives.

I pray that in all that you go through, whether good or bad times, you will remember His love & faithfulness endures forever.